Sharing a deep personal relationship can be a very tasking venture. You find yourself struggling to connect with them, understand where their mind is at, gauge their disposition towards you, etc. It’s hard to place their feelings because they don’t even know how to express them to you.
I think what makes dealing closely with an emotionally unavailable person frustrating is the fact that the things you know for sure are very little. So today, I want to share with you a few reasons why people are emotionally unavailable.
1. Some people don’t want to be rejected: some people are so afraid of being rejected that they try not to put themselves in situations where they could face rejection. What this often looks like, is a person who’s constantly holding back and not sharing themselves with the people in their lives. Not because they don’t care to, but because they’re afraid that everything could come crashing down. If you notice that they are trying to share, encourage and reassure them of your love and when they do share, keep your word.
2. They’re just wired that way: there are people who are really okay with expressing fewer emotions. It’s not always unhealthy, it’s just their way of life. They are quieter and reserved and as long as they’re not avoiding dealing with issues, it’s okay. However, if they’re avoiding dealing with issues in a manner that brings resolution, then it could be a problem.
3. They never learned to be open: upbringing plays an important role in adult behavior. If someone close to you has difficulties opening up, it could be a result of how they were raised and the unresolved traumas of their childhood. Unfortunately, you can’t help a person who’s dealing with childhood trauma on your own. You should recommend that they speak to a professional.
4. Emotional expressions are different: is your person emotionally unavailable or are you expecting them to express themselves in the same way as you? There are people who show more than tell. They rather express themselves through their actions than their words. This is common but not limited to men. For people like this, you can come to a compromise and meet each other halfway.
These are some positive thoughts that you can use to counter the negatives when they come up. You need to have an arsenal of encouraging things to say to yourself frequently until they seep into your subconscious.
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Are you struggling understanding emotional unavailability?
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