When you are falling in Love, it is the most magical of moments, and one of life’s happiest pleasures. However, when Love turns toxic, it is one of the most painful, and often, traumatic experiences causing long-term emotional wounds.
Right before, during or after a painful breakup, those experiencing toxic love have physical symptoms which include: Stress, anxiety, depression, flu, headaches, lack of sleep, stomach aches, heart pains, panic attacks, crying jags, foggy memory, overall lack of joy in life, loss of self and self-esteem, fear of being alone or being abandoned.
Known as Love Trauma, it is a psychological condition that develops in response to a damaged or failed love relationship; and it can be more serious than most people realize. With each effort to find a quality loving relationship, if one suffers with a second toxic partner – either the trauma experienced is ten times worse – or with help from a Certified Relationship & Love Coach (and/or Therapist who specializes in this area) they are quicker to identify and leave a toxic partner before getting traumatized by them.
The DSM-IV-TR Diagnostic manual from the American Psychiatric Association, has a diagnosis for PTSD – (Post Traumatic Distress Disorder); which most people hear about happening in our soldiers during or after war, or occurring when you suddenly loose a loved one. However, situations in a love relationship like discovering your spouse cheated on you, ripped you off or lied and manipulated you, treats you with no respect by using emotional or verbal abuse; these are all situations where Love trauma is evident.
This happens to many men and women, straight or gay, of all ages and cultures; leading to fear, anger, loss, emotional upset and frequent crying; while they try to deal with their broken heart. They are often embarrassed, ashamed and isolate themselves; greatly affecting their well-being, career, and social life. Love obsession towards the mate that did you wrong is common, which makes the damaged partner want to stalk, spy on, or attack the partner that hurt them. Suicide and murder can be a result of severe Love Trauma.
Know that mourning a lost love relationship is common, and to feel devastated is nothing to be ashamed of. It takes time to heal, as the effects of trauma are actually a brain condition. Commit to being very active – find hobbies, seek out friends, get busy with a new work project, read motivational spiritual books, exercise and eat super healthy – this is a great time to start taking care of YOU. Try to find some good out of the bad, and have only 1-2 friends you confide in, versus telling the whole world your problems. It is best to seek out immediately a Love Coach, and give them all the details; then work together to get you past the pain.
Sadly, often the wounded want to avoid falling in Love all together, or immediately enter into “hook ups” to prove their worthiness and sexual attraction. This leads to more complications and deeper feelings of emptiness. Watch what music you listen to, as it has a strong pull towards memories of time together; instead listen to motivational tapes that will increase your sense of faith and self-esteem. Take the time to heal, and find a wonderful Life & Relationship Coach to help you examine your personal habits, and repetitive patterns to understand how your childhood triggers can affect your Love relationships. It is a time to learn, reflect, and re-invent a more emotionally healthy, evolved you. Remember, the world is abundant and you will soon be blessed with a new Love partner who knows how to cherish, respect and love you!
Riana Mine, MA, is a Certified, world-wide Relationship, Love & Life Coach, #1 Best Selling Author, motivational speaker, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Cert Addictions Professional at Therapy by the Sea; 15300 Jog Rd, Suite 109, Delray Beach. Her free App: My Relationship Coach offers more articles and her books, LIVE Beyond Your Dreams – from Fear and Doubt to Personal Power, Purpose and Success, and LOVE Beyond Your Dreams – Break Free of Toxic Relationships to Have the Love You Deserve addresses relationships with yourself and others. To learn more about Riana’s Life or Love Coaching programs or suggest a topic, go to Riana’s website, www.RianaMilne.com or email RianaMilne@gmail.com. Worldwide Coaching Phone: (201) 281-7887. Delray office: (561) 701-8277; Skype Coaching and FB: coachrianamilne. #LoveCoach, #LifeCoach, #RelationshipCoach, #SinglesCoach