Alert Singles! There’s a new style of relationship on the block. It is called the Interpersonal Relationship. Wikipedia defines this as a strong, deep, or close association between two people that ranges in duration from brief to enduring. This association may be based on love, regular interactions, or some other type of social commitment. I Coach the singles in my practice the concepts of the interpersonal relationships; because this slower, friends-first approach often leads to a true, lasting and enduring love relationship.
In “single world” over the past few years, everyone seemed to be in such a rush to date and become overly intimate right away. Women frustratingly found that concept did not lead to love, or to a desired, long-term relationship. Men, of course liked the rush of sexual passion, but often got too scared and were unable to bond with a woman because things happened “too quickly” so they ran or completely disengaged. The interpersonal relationship has its grounding in friendship. The concept is so easy to do. For the ladies, just go out and meet men as genuine friends, without exerting pressure, pushing for a relationship, or chasing a guy the minute you meet him. Don’t call or text him and expect nothing. The man innately wants to be the pursuer of the relationship, so ladies, relax and become friends first. Date several men, and be intimate with none until one asks for exclusivity. Be fun, full of positive, high energy, yet authentic, self-confident and alluringly attractive. The interpersonal relationship is happily based on comfortable friendship, positive growing trust, slow developing intimacy and then selected exclusivity. There is a comfortable balance between the relationship with self and the love partner. No one needs to give up themselves for the good of the relationship.
An Intrapersonal relationship is a relationship with yourself. This includes how much self-esteem, respect and love you have for yourself. It is also a reflection on how you balance your desires, goals and dreams and if they coincide with the life you are living. Relationships studies show you must have high regard and positive feelings for yourself before having a successful, quality love relationship. In coaching sessions, my client first develops a fully positive self-regard within all life spheres of personal and health, career, financial, spiritual, home environment, and family relationships. They learn to develop a positive mind-set, sense of purpose, and attitude by healing any past issues. My book, LIVE Beyond Your Dreams, from fear and doubt to personal power, purpose and success also teaches how to develop these personal success traits. It is only then, that one is able to relax and attract a partner by living a joyful life to its fullest, versus coming from a place of needy desperation.
Research in positive psychology says healthy relationships are build on a foundation of secure attachment and have positive and purposeful, ongoing behaviors including appropriate and healthy conflict resolution and coping skills along with effective communication skills. Long-lasting love has all three of the following important components: physical attraction or passion, feelings of closeness and friendship leading towards intimacy, and the decision to initiate and sustain a committed relationship.
Should you need help in obtaining healthy, interpersonal or intrapersonal love, seek the help from a Certified Personal Life & Relationship Coach.