After 18 years of marriage, I find myself divorced and back in the singles market. I hate it. I’m too shy to walk into a bar to meet someone. I feel like I have no experience in how to meet a mature woman, and feel so unconfident and ill prepared to start dating again. But I feel isolated, lonely, and food and TV are no longer enough for comfort. I just feel depressed and have no energy to get out there. I’m in my mid-fifties and just feel this is it – how I will spend the rest of my life. How do I get started in getting back in the game?
Lonely and Depressed in Egg Harbor Township
Dear L & D in EHT:
Hang in there! Don’t think that the bar scene is the only way to meet people! I started a great support system because when I was single, I wanted an alternative to the bar scene also. Our club is called the Atlantic City Singles Networking Group; for people ages 35-60. We meet every first Wednesday of the month, from 5:30 – 7:30 pm; each time at a different place. (Email to get information at ACSinglesNewtwrk@aol.com) We gather 50 – 75 people a party! There are always new people coming, and old friends returning. I started this club last May, and many of us have become friends, done business together, and many have found new love – including myself at the August party! Don’t come expecting to meet “The ONE” – attend with an open mind to making new friends, because a new friend may have a lady friend just perfect for you! Also, while you are in transition, I highly suggest you call a psychotherapist to talk about old habits you want to change, and new ways to become confident and “get your groove back!” You’re way too young to give up on life – and remember, age IS a state of mind. Think holistically – mind, body & soul – for personal growth and change. Start reading inspirational books, update your wardrobe, start working out, take vitamins and eat healthy, and start getting out there to meet new friends. Remember, everywhere you go is an opportunity to meet someone new. Try this – for one week, smile and say hello to everyone you pass – at the coffee store, at work, the grocery market, etc. You will feel better, and the friendly vibe you put out there will be contagious. This works – I tried it! Remember, it takes 21 days to make or break a habit. So after one week do it again. By the third week, you’ll feel great, and I bet you will have met a few people! One day, and one smile at a time, you can turn your life around. I’ll see you smilin’ at the next Singles party, October 4th at Tomatoes in Margate!