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posted on November 18, 2013

Today’s Way or Tradition – Which is Best?

Running the Atlantic City Singles Group has opened up a lot of communication with singles ages 36 – 56 years old. Men and women freely talk to me about what they want in a relationship, so I ask a lot of questions!

Although most do not plan to remarry, both do seek a soul mate. I asked several men about what dating practices they prefer. Although women are being bombarded with messages that we CAN call men, we SHOULD offer to help pay for a meal, and being intimate too soon IS perfectly fine – ladies, the majority of men truly want and respect the traditional mating game.

Society dictates that women can be more assertive in their dating rituals, but their chances of forming a lasting bond are greatly improved by holding to traditions. The baby-boomer men who grew up watching “Ozzie & Harriet” and witnessed their own father “taking care of his mother and family” are wired to respecting the tradition of a man doing the gentlemanly thing.

Ladies, if you are looking for a quality relationship, here are some tips –Don’t call or email the man, let him do the pursuing the first few weeks of dating – except to call him back if he requests it. Don’t offer to pay half the check, as these traditional men have ego pride and ENJOY the feeling of “taking care of a woman.” Thank him graciously. Do NOT get intimate on the first few dates – men like to be the hunters, and like “the chase” even though it may frustrate them, and reassure you that it’s fine to be intimate early on. Be choosey – and take your time to develop a friendship and relationship first – before intimacy. I suggest a 6-date waiting period – to see if this relationship will progress onto something more serious. You may find some negative qualities and decide to stop dating – saving yourself the hurt that often occurs with early intimacy.

Men also like women to dress like a lady. Dresses, skirts, and sharp outfits with high heels are men’s favorites. I know; we have made huge strides in the workforce – do we need to stick to dating tradition? YES – if you are looking for an exclusive relationship. No matter how accomplished or intelligent you are, men still need to feel the ego strength of “being the man” and the provider. A man who doesn’t feel “strong enough” or “able to measure up” will frighten off early – usually after 2-3 dates. Being more of a traditional lady in the dating scene will help soften his fears as he gets to know your best qualities.

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