Tips to Improve Sibling Relationships – Riana Milne, LMHC, CAP Cert Life & Relationship Coach
No matter your age, siblings can bring up old resentments, jealousy, and unresolved conflicts. You don’t always notice it, unless you are at a family function, then the old roles, rules and ways of relating emerge. When you become adults and break free from the old, undesirable role, leave it to your sibling to put you right back there emotionally when you are together! They don’t seem to understand the adult that you have become, and if your sibling was controlling and negative to you as a child, the old pattern is sure to emerge. Even a few hours of sibling exposure can ruin the spiritual and emotional growth you had to do to overcome the childhood pain.
Many try to remove themselves from the parts of childhood they hated the most and have long-term unresolved issues with their siblings. Although distance can happen in mid-years, often they are forced to reunite when their elderly parents get ill. There are some things you can to do help improve this relationship:
1) Forgive and let go of the past. Live in the now and try to create a totally new relationship for the future. Forgiving helps you to stop being a victim and gives you a sense of control over your emotions.
2) Commit to changing your feelings about your sibling. Realize you were both young and not emotionally mature enough to negotiate a better relationship. Now you both can by be willing to focus on a new relationship.
3) See a professional Relationship Coach or Therapist to help you deal with your pain from the past and to work up a plan to approach your sibling. When you feel confident, write a letter saying you would like a new, more loving relationship.
4) Approach your sibling with love and not past fear, anger, resentment or revenge. Make the choice to heal this dysfunction for yourself. You cannot control what your sibling chooses to do, but just knowing that you made the loving gesture will improve your self-esteem and sense of empowerment.
5) Take care of yourself and surround yourself with positive people. Get spiritual and practice meditation or prayer. Read inspirational and empowering writings, watch TV less, and try to live a peaceful life. You approaching your sibling from a place of serenity and spirituality can make a huge difference.
6) Be positive and non-blaming when you meet with your sibling. You can explain your side of the story as to what you think happened, then ask them their opinion. If they said you did something wrong, then apologize and ask for you both to try again, with focusing on the future and a mature relationship of mutual respect.
7) Be proud that you tried to heal the past and let go of the outcome. About 65% of siblings are willing to heal the past and have a new relationship. So go for it!
Riana Mine, MA, is a Certified, world-wide Relationship, Love & Life Coach, #1 Best Selling Author, motivational speaker, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Cert Addictions Professional at Therapy by the Sea; 15300 Jog Rd, Suite 109, Delray Beach. Her free App: My Relationship Coach offers more articles and her books, LIVE Beyond Your Dreams – from Fear and Doubt to Personal Power, Purpose and Success, and LOVE Beyond Your Dreams – Break Free of Toxic Relationships to Have the Love You Deserve addresses relationships with yourself and others. To learn more about Riana’s Life or Love Coaching programs or suggest a topic, go to Riana’s website, www.RianaMilne.com or email RianaMilne@gmail.com. Worldwide Coaching Phone: (201) 281-7887. Delray office: (561) 701-8277; Skype Coaching and FB: coachrianamilne. #LoveCoach, #LifeCoach, #RelationshipCoach, #SinglesCoach