10 Rules for Success in Any Relationship – Riana Milne, LMHC, CAP, Cert Life & Relationship Coach
There are all kinds of relationships, and as a Certified Relationship & Life Coach, I teach people how to take any painful, toxic relationship and make it peaceful, trusting, or passionate. There are many rules for Relationship success, but for this article, I wanted to share ten essential strategies that anyone can do. These rules apply for all ages, male or female, and across all types of relationships. When I say I am a Relationship Coach, most people think of – Love Relationships – with them wanting me to help them find a loving soul mate, fix their marriage or exclusive relationship, heal after the loss of a long-time partner, or move on from a toxic relationship or breakup (and knowing what to avoid next time).
However, these ten rules apply to relationships with co-workers, friends, siblings, parents, children, teens, young-adult children in their transitional twenties, those who are looking for love/dating or for married couples. As a prior Student Assistance Counselor in the schools, I even teach my elementary students how to use these relationship skills to make friends, and keep away bullies. The rules seem very simple and basic, but imagine how great your current difficult relationship would be if both you and the other person used them all! If your partner refuses, YOU start using them, and magically watch the change in attitude in your partner. Of course, depending on your relationship issues, strategies will differ.
- Use the Golden Rule – Do unto others as you would have done unto you. Or, stated in its opposite form, “Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself” (Confucius).
- Want a friend? BE a friend. So many people wait for others to befriend them…instead, you make the first move, the repeated effort, the first phone call to ask a new friend to lunch or coffee.
- Be interesting. Always be learning new skills, reading non-fiction books, watch documentaries and the daily news, engage in various hobbies; so that you always have something new and interesting to talk about. Talk about many topics other than your work or schedule.
- Balance communication time. Talking should be a balanced ebb and flow; monitor how much you talk to another, and be sure to give them equal time to respond. Otherwise, it sounds like you are lecturing and you could come off Narcissistic or overly self-involved. The other person will tune out.
- Have a positive mind-set. “What you think about, comes about.” A positive attitude along with a smile is electrifying and will attract wonderful people to you! People love positive people, so stop complaining or being negative, blaming or whiny. If you are depressed or negative, get help.
- Mirror the other’s communication style. If you talk too loud, fast, or intense, your partner may get anxious, overwhelmed, or feel assaulted. Slow down the pace, and change to a softer, calmer tone of voice. Mimic their communication style to have more peaceful, loving, engaging conversations.
- Be kind, supportive and caring. Don’t ask too many questions, especially to a busy co-worker, tired teen, or stressed-out spouse. Give quiet, peaceful support instead; this will help them to calm down, and attract them back to communicate with you when they are less stressed or tired.
- Be fun! Use humor which is innocent and enjoyed by all. Be careful not to use sarcasm which is harsh, toxic, destructive and painful comments which are used towards another person.
- Have Energy! Be lively and approachable by smiling and laughing often. Get enough rest, exercise and eat healthy to have the full upbeat energy you need to attract others towards you.
- Share your Light. Positive people with healthy self-esteem have an inner glow that attracts others. Feel confident by loving life, feeling amazing, and presenting a well-groomed appearance.
Try theses few rules in all your relationships; and watch the difference it will make in your relationships!
Riana Mine, MA, is a Certified, world-wide Relationship, Love & Life Coach, #1 Best Selling Author, motivational speaker, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Cert Addictions Professional at Therapy by the Sea; 15300 Jog Rd, Suite 109, Delray Beach. Her free App: My Relationship Coach offers more articles and her books, LIVE Beyond Your Dreams – from Fear and Doubt to Personal Power, Purpose and Success, and LOVE Beyond Your Dreams – Break Free of Toxic Relationships to Have the Love You Deserve addresses relationships with yourself and others. To learn more about Riana’s Life or Love Coaching programs or suggest a topic, go to Riana’s website, www.RianaMilne.com or email RianaMilne@gmail.com. Worldwide Coaching Phone: (201) 281-7887. Delray office: (561) 701-8277; Skype Coaching and FB: coachrianamilne. #LoveCoach, #LifeCoach, #RelationshipCoach, #SinglesCoach