posted on November 18, 2013

Pre-Marital Topics to Discuss

Below are the Topics that most Couples have issues with throughout their relationship. It is best to discuss these topics up front, in a calm and loving manner with the assistance of a Professional Coach, so they are less likely to be troublesome in your marital or primary relationship.


1.    Money & Finances

  • Will you have a Joint checking account?
  • Who will take care of the Joint bills?
  • Will both partners work?
  • How will the income be dispersed?
  • How much spending money should each partner have for the week?
  • How will taxes be paid?
  • Do you want to purchase a home?
  • How will it be financed?
  • How is your credit report at this time – have you shown each other your Credit status?
  • Will there be a limit on Credit card spending?
  • How much money/week should be allocated for a Date night/entertainment/travel?


2.   Children

  • Do you each want children?
  • How many?
  • What religion will you raise them?
  • Is the sex of the child important?
  • Have you discussed names?
  • Is a College education important for your children?
  • If so, how will you plan on that?
  • Who will raise the child – stay home in the early months?
  • Do you both agree on childcare – what type and at what age?
  • How will the duties of childcare be split (night feedings, diapers, bathing, feeding, night-time rituals & homework)?


3.   In-Laws

  • How do you currently get along with each other’s parents?
  • Is there stress, and why?
  • Do one set of parents get overly involved in your daily activities as a couple?
  • What if they mettle with your important decisions?
  • Can you put your marital relationship first – above your parental relationship?
  • How much time will you give to your parents/week/month?
  • Where will you spend what holidays?
  • What is the protocol on gifts for Holidays and birthdays?
  • Would you ever borrow money from your in-laws; if so, how would it be handled?


4.   Sexual Intimacy

  • Have you had an open discussion on each other’s sexual needs and desires?
  • If there is a discomforting topic, have you discussed it thoroughly?
  • Does one partner want to do something the other is not willing to do-how will you handle this?
  • How much sex is enough or not enough/week/month?
  • What will happen during pregnancy and if you have children?
  • Do you agree to continue to date as lovers – each week, even after the “newness” wears off?
  • What are the types of Intimate dates and settings that are important for you to have?


5.   Blending of Families

  • If there are children from prior relationships, there are special issues that need to be addressed.
  • Who is the disciplinarian of whose children?
  • How will affection be expressed?
  • Are the children happy about the impending marriage – or showing signs of distress & jealousy (anger, acting-out, withdrawing, whining, clinginess, fighting with future siblings)?
  • Where will the new family live – are the children loosing space in their territory (bedroom) by needing to share?
  • What will the new purchases be to start a new life together?
  • Are you willing to enter into Family counseling if the children are having trouble adjusting?


6.   Religion

  • What religion will you choose as a family – what holidays will be observed, and where will you spend these holidays?
  • How often will you attend religious services?
  • What faith will you raise your children?


If any of these topics are an issue for you and your mate, please call Riana to help you communicate through these very essential topics for Relationship Happiness!




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