Making Up with a Best Friend – Riana Milne, LMHC, CAP, Cert Life & Relationship Coach
There is nothing more traumatic then a major fight with your best friend. This is your “go to person” when you are upset and need a clear dose of advice. These fights don’t happen often but when they do, both parties are really hurting. Here are some quick tips on how to mend this very valuable friendship:
1) Be patient and don’t let your anger or pride get in the way of compromise. Let a few days pass so you both can cool off, and then approach your friend with a calm tone of voice and a lot of love.
2) Approach your friend when they are alone and available. It is best to talk in person, but if not possible, call and ask if this is a good time to talk. If they don’t pick up the phone, leave a message saying you’d like to talk when they are ready. Do not try to handle a “make up” by text.
3) Jot down on paper what you might like to say. Don’t blame, use sarcasm, or yell. Calmly explain why you got upset and how you think you both can resolve the issue. Tell her you want to hear her side of the story.
4) Really listen and apologize for any hurt you may have caused, whether it was intentional or not. Have an open mind and learn from your mistakes.
5) Negotiate how you can fix the situation with trying to find a win-win for both of you. Very often, fights happen when there is mis-information or gossip. Get to the facts and the truth, and see if you can both forgive each other and move forward from here. Discuss the lessons you may have learned, like going to each other to discuss something vs. believing a rumor.
6) Give each other a hug, or for guys, a man hug or high five. Be sure you each are smiling before you part from your discussion.
7) Give each other some space to cool down and think about your part in the situation. Make sure you are comfortable with your discussion and there are no further questions or concerns. If there are, give your friend a call and calmly ask what you need to know.
8) Your friendship may be shattered for a while or never be quite the same. Be patient and feel good in the fact that you tried to solve the issues with love, kindness and respect. If a lot of time goes by, reach out again and suggest something to do together. It will probably be the case they missed you too!
Riana Mine, MA, is a Certified, world-wide Relationship, Love & Life Coach, #1 Best Selling Author, motivational speaker, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Cert Addictions Professional at Therapy by the Sea; 15300 Jog Rd, Suite 109, Delray Beach. Her free App: My Relationship Coach offers more articles and her books, LIVE Beyond Your Dreams – from Fear and Doubt to Personal Power, Purpose and Success, and LOVE Beyond Your Dreams – Break Free of Toxic Relationships to Have the Love You Deserve addresses relationships with yourself and others. To learn more about Riana’s Life or Love Coaching programs or suggest a topic, go to Riana’s website, www.RianaMilne.com or email RianaMilne@gmail.com. Worldwide Coaching Phone: (201) 281-7887. Delray office: (561) 701-8277; Skype Coaching and FB: coachrianamilne. #LoveCoach, #LifeCoach, #RelationshipCoach, #SinglesCoach