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posted on November 20, 2013

How to Save a Friendship

Photo by Steve Guzzardi - http://www.flickr.com/photos/guzzphoto/9583021994/   How to Save a Friendship – Riana Milne, LMHC, CAP, Cert Life & Relationship Coach

Good friends are hard to find, and keep. Something sensitive may have happened which made her or you pull away and focus on other friends. Over time, you come to miss this person and wonder if it is too late to save the relationship that you both let go. Sometimes this happens when a boyfriend or spouse gets in the middle of your friendship, and you choose your partner over your friend. Here are some tips to save your friendship:

1)  Send them an email (not a text) that you miss them and would like to talk. You need to get to the bottom of the original conflict and discuss what actually happened.

2)  Try seeing the situation from their point of view. Don’t negate their feelings or tell them they are wrong; just listen. If they feel you hurt their feelings, then apologize. They are entitled to their opinion, and even if you think they are wrong, don’t say so. Just say you thought things happened differently, but you are sorry for the misunderstanding.

3)  Make time to talk in person if possible and make a pact to make more time for each other. Initiate the contact at least half the time.

4)  Don’t spread rumors or gossip about them when you are in a fight. Don’t hurt tease, or bully them. Just give them some space to cool down and try approaching them again in a few days, saying, “You want to talk?”

5)  When they do choose to talk to you, don’t walk away and really listen to what they have to say. Try to get to the root of the problem and discuss it calmly.

6)  Don’t make them jealous by pretending to have a new best friend or others who are more important then them.

7)  Even if they aren’t ready to make up, tell them you will always care for them and really treasured their friendship. Tell them the door is always open for you to talk things over when they are ready.

8)  When talking to them, don’t use blaming statements. Talk with “I” statements trying to explain how you feel without putting them down.

9)  A small gift or card can go a long way. Send it in the mail or have it delivered. If you are able to make up, put in the effort to save and continue the friendship. Really good, close friends are rare, so make the effort to have a life-long friend. You will be glad that you did!

Lovecoach Riana Milne Riana Mine, MA, is a Certified, world-wide Relationship, Love & Life Coach, #1 Best Selling Author, motivational speaker, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Cert Addictions Professional at Therapy by the Sea; 15300 Jog Rd, Suite 109, Delray Beach. Her free App: My Relationship Coach offers more articles and her books, LIVE Beyond Your Dreamsfrom Fear and Doubt to Personal Power, Purpose and Success, and LOVE Beyond Your Dreams – Break Free of Toxic Relationships to Have the Love You Deserve addresses relationships with yourself and others. To learn more about Riana’s Life or Love Coaching programs or suggest a topic, go to Riana’s website, www.RianaMilne.com or email RianaMilne@gmail.com. Worldwide Coaching Phone: (201) 281-7887. Delray office: (561) 701-8277; Skype Coaching and FB: coachrianamilne.  #LoveCoach,   #LifeCoach, #RelationshipCoach,  #SinglesCoach

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